The “Hard Work” Delusion

So you believe in hard work. But what is your work? [Don’t Work: Part 06]

Series: Don’t Work | Part: 6 of 10 | Reading Time: 5 mins
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This is part of the series, Don’t Work, exploring our identity and meaning around work.

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I. Two Stories

I want you to consider two stories…

In Story #1, it’s 2013 and I was tapped to lead the launch of our new business model. It was the biggest role I’d ever taken on. During that period, I worked as hard as I’ve ever worked in my life. Long hours, filled with intensity. Every day was difficult, physically and mentally.

In Story #2, fast forward 10 years later. I stepped away from the hustle for a mid-career sabbatical, in hopes of recharging, before getting back to work. But the plan soon fell apart. I felt out of whack, unsure of where I was going and what to do next. A slew of dormant questions and insecurities surfaced. Questions like, the meaning of my life and who I was. That next year was filled with wandering through a forest, trying to find a way out without a map.

Now, here’s the question…

Which story qualifies as “hard work?”

Everyone knows the answer. Surely, we can all agree that Story #1 is hard work. It meets all our prerequisites: paid employment, long hours, difficult work, and so on.

But what about Story #2? While the period was filled with unproductivity, which on the outside may appear lazy, it certainly felt like hard work. I had to discover and redefine my entire identity and sense of purpose in the world, no less! For some, staring into the void of existence may seem like a fun little side project. For me, though, not so much.

So why does Story #1 get all the credit, but Story #2 gets downplayed?

It turns out that we’ve been deluded into believing that “hard work,” as traditionally defined (career-focused, long hours, etc.) is the only hard work that matters. We pursue it alone and indiscriminately while ignoring the broader aspects of our lives that also require our effort and attention.

We work and work and work, and never pick up our heads to ask: are we working on the right work?

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II. Hard Work

I believe in hard work.

• Hard work can be the foundation of a strong career (it was mine).

• Hard work is required to excel at any skill or domain.

• Hard work can be enjoyable, when we see the fruits of our labor.

• Hard work can show us what we are capable of, encouraging us to push to new limits.

We should work hard.

The growing Anti-Work movement, seeking to balance the scales in our overworked culture, misses the point. And the same goes with the never ending question of work-life balance. In both, they pit work against no work.

No, “Work” isn’t the villain. The real problem is we’ve shrink-wrapped “Work” into one tiny, yet exaggerated, box. It’s the belief that one type of hard work is worthy and the answer to all.

We’ve been led to believe a life well-lived is a life well-worked. But what kind of work?

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III. What is Work?

You might be thinking: “I know exactly what work is, why not just get on with it?”

But this is precisely where the delusion takes hold. We accept the conventional concept at face value, and risk spending our entire lives pursuing something we barely understand. The reality is there are many definitions of work:

• Some people define work exclusively as paid employment. Only activity tied to a paycheck equals work. Unpaid equals volunteering.

• Some people define work as something we don’t want to do. It’s a burden to be avoided. And the greatest fantasy is getting enough money to never work again.¹

• Some people define work as something hard to do. Construction is work. Being a nurse or teacher is work. Being a knowledge worker sitting in the comfort of your home… ehh, not so much!

• Some people define work as something you do for others. It’s our contribution to the world. Doing something for yourself is, well, just a selfish hobby.

• Some people define work as what you do to achieve success. It’s a means to an end. Doing something, for simply the sake of doing it, is purposeless.

Unfortunately, whatever definition we choose, it can constrain our thinking. We limit our possibilities to a predetermined script. One, likely, that we did not author ourselves.

Instead, I choose to use my own definition: Work is what must be done.

It’s what must be worked on, across the sum of our life. It may be as mundane as the laundry or as lofty as finding our life’s meaning.

It “must be done,” in a broader sense, beyond the basic, utilitarian concepts of work. It’s the entirety of our work to live a good life.

And there is no one-size-fits-all across everyone. And it probably shifts through the seasons of your life. 

Some of you might be thinking, basically anything could be rationalized as hard work.

“Hitting this bong is hard work, dude!”²

But the real Work (with a capital “W”) is in identifying and pursuing what truly matters. It's focusing on the right kind of work.

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IV. What is Your Work?

Yes, if you need to make ends meet, your hard work sits within your job.

For many, hard work is getting off the couch to consistently show up to work. But there’s many others whose hard work is to leave work to come home.

Maybe your hard work is trying to make more money. But maybe your hard work is to stop focusing so much on money, or even to stop making money altogether!³

For me, returning to the familiar work I’m used to would be easy. But trying to figure out my own way from here (and maybe help a few others along the way), that’s hard.

Maybe after years of hard work you’ve accumulated a stockpile of stress, housed within a declining body. So your hard work now is to undo those effects.

You see, for the workaholic, working is the easy part. Not working, however, is hard work.

Maybe your hard work lies in engaging your suppressed capacity to have fun, interests long abandoned after years of practical adulthood. I’ve had trouble finding a hobby that I can simply enjoy without having guilt about what else I should be doing.

For some parents, hard work is what you do when you’re away from your kids - providing and securing their future. But for others, the real hard work is in the simple, quiet moments at home, trying to stay present and connected with the human sitting right in front of you.

Or maybe, if you’re like me, you’ve felt empty of meaning or purpose from time to time. Then I can guarantee you’re in for a pile of hard work.

But only if you take on this work!

The truth is we can and must choose how to direct our work. Success isn’t just about working hard - it’s about working hard on the right things.

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V. Get Back to Work

Okay, let’s wrap this up with a bit more clarity. Here’s what I’m arguing:

1. We’re deluded into believing that “hard work” is constrained to one thing and argue about the wrong things (whether we should work hard or not).

2. The definitions around work are all over the place. Thus, you can decide what work means and matters to you. You are not constrained (unless you choose to be).

3. Where we should direct our hard work is a personal, multi-dimensional, diverse and evolving question. The same work may be easy for one, but hard for another.

4. Our real focus should be on finding and pursuing the right work.

Ultimately, the hardest work may be about finding the work to be done. Discerning what truly matters and is worth our effort.

Yes, it’s difficult and confusing and you’ll wish it were simpler. And that’s exactly why it’s hard work, damnit!

But don’t take the easy way out, mindlessly grinding away.

Ask yourself: what is your hard work?

Next up, I’m going to talk about the problem of identity, especially when we get caught up inside one identity.

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This is part 6 in the series, Don’t Work, exploring our identity and meaning around work:

Part 1: Work identity serves, then severs

Part 2: Unraveling the layers of working identity

Part 3: The Value of Disappearing

Part 4: How to be unproductive

Part 5: Beyond our basic ambition

Part 6: The “Hard Work” Delusion

Part 7: Diversified Portfolio of Identities

Part 8: Scale down, after scaling up

Part 9: The very easy, not-painful-at-all, 5 super simple steps to changing your career

Part 10: When you don’t have a “calling”

You can support this writing by commenting, hitting the ❤️ or 🔄 below and/or sharing it with a friend. It helps others find my work.

1. Hint: this will be the topic of my next series 👀

2. Credit to Lawrence Yao for the bong reference, from The Riddle of Ambition. Maybe for you, hitting the bong is hard work. As I said, I guess it’s a multi-dimensional question: bong size, bong hitting experience, etc.

3. I really liked this episode from the MoneyWise Podcast questioning the endless pursuit of making more money.