On Quitting (when it’s unclear whether to quit)
When it comes to quitting, sometimes there are blaring red signs. But usually, there is a lot of gray… and your choice is unclear. [Work in Progress: Part 09]
Series: Work in Progress | Part: 9 of 10 | Reading Time: 6 mins
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This is the 9th part of the series Work in Progress. Last week, I talked about how to stay out of their box (in your career). Subscribe to get the next part in the series.
A long career will have thousands of “quitting moments.” What to do in these moments though, is among the trickiest of questions to answer.
It doesn’t help that career advice can be so hypocritical. You’ll hear things like:
“You need to hang on!” And also, “you need to let go of what’s holding you back!”
“You need to endure!” And also, “you need to rest and re-energize!”
“You need to be grateful for what you have!” And also, “life is short, so don’t waste your time!”
I’m also probably not helping. I’ve shared the importance of commitment, hanging on, staying for the hard times, being patient, and believing in things that are uncertain.
And now I’m going to talk about quitting.
Quitting time
I’ve had my share of quitting moments. Times where I was burned out, mad at my boss, lost my drive, or received a slew of attractive offers to leave. Heck, I’m sitting here having opted-out of most of the normal working world (for now).
I’ve also seen other people leave too early and leave too late.
When it comes to quitting or staying, there’s the obvious stuff. The blaring red sirens telling you to “get out ASAP!” Or the clear clues that “this feels like the right spot for me.”
But in the middle, there’s a lot of gray. The tricky situations where there’s both good and bad. Where you’re unlikely to receive a whack across the side of the head in the form of an “obvious decision.”
That gray is where I’ll focus today.
When to stay
1. You are <2 years in and things start to get hard.
This seems to be the #1 mistake people make. These are the “job hoppers.” Maybe your work falters. Maybe people now seem harder to work with. Whatever it is, there’s a point, in any endeavor, where the novelty wears off, and the real work begins. Unfortunately, that’s also when people start thinking there is something wrong.
2. Your boss is hard on you, especially if they have high standards.
Many people mistake a hard boss with a bad boss. Sure, you’d love someone more caring or gentle. But to access great work, sometimes it requires someone willing to push you harder than you thought possible. This toughness is uncomfortable and may leave you feeling like your emotional needs are unmet. But it’s not a great reason to leave.
3. You are being micromanaged (and deserve it).
Everyone thinks of micromanagement as a universal evil. Sorry, but some people need to be micromanaged! Maybe it’s your skill or experience level. Maybe the project is too important to fail. Maybe the micromanagement is temporary. But just because you are being micromanaged, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be.
4. You are burned out, but never set boundaries.
This is a tough one, because you could be in such a dark place, you need to be thrown a life vest ASAP. I’ve been there. But I’d challenge you to ask yourself: “what will make my next role any different?” Instead of throwing in the towel (yet), start trying the hard work of setting boundaries. Boundaries with other people and more importantly, with yourself.
5. Your boss (or someone important) leaves the company.
People feel uneasy after a key person leaves the company. But these moments can be great opportunities. They are when you have the highest leverage to level up, because there is a new hole in the organization. Either you could fill that hole, or someone incoming is going to want stable, high-performing people to help them when they arrive.
6. The company is in a rough patch.
People chase trends. When the company is trending up, they come and stay! Yay, things are great! But when the company trends down, even for a momentary blip, people will jump ship. This is a bad way to work. Every company has rough patches and if you never see them through, your career will be limited.
7. You miss a promotion.
Maybe when you have too many of these in a row, it’s time to look. But if you miss one promotion and move on, you may be too impatient and/or missing some key opportunity for improvement. If you’re like me, these moments are hard to digest not only because you wanted a promotion, but because it signals something larger about a weakness you need to overcome. Focus on improving yourself, not removing yourself.
8. You can make more money elsewhere.
You can always make more money. Sometimes this move makes sense, especially if you have personal obligations that must be met. But your work is more than money alone. Khe Hy shares the experience of leaving money on the table, walking away from Wall Street. While it’s easy to rationalize “just one more” milestone, you can get trapped until you forever can’t escape the cycle. For Khe, he realized “maximizing the net worth game is a losing proposition.”
9. You have no other options.
Your job may truly suck. It may be a pitiful, meaningless existence. But sometimes you’re up against a wall. Maybe you need the money. Maybe there are no other opportunities right now. This is your best-worst option. And we do a disservice to people in these situations to simply say some bullshit like: “just follow your passion!” No. Now is the time to endure.
When to move on
1. You commit, but there’s no sign they’ll ever commit back.
No doubt, it’s hard to do much without commitment. And I believe you need to commit first, before you’ll receive commitment back. But if there’s no sign of them ever committing back to anyone else, then that’s a sign to leave. Your commitment will become a detriment.
2. You are put into the wrong box, and can’t get out.
Other people have ideas for what you should or should not be doing. Whether they restrict your work to a narrow lane or push you into a specialty that’s not right for you. This is a dangerous place because: a) people don’t appreciate or understand you, or b) you will become disenchanted. It will be nearly impossible to get out of the wrong box, without moving on.
3. You are being micromanaged (and don’t deserve it).
Usually, this comes down to your manager’s experience and skill. Getting out from beneath a bad manager requires a move. So look across your manager’s team. If they are only micromanaging you, you may need to be micromanaged. If the manager micromanages everyone, they are a micromanager, and it’s time to get out.
4. You’ve created value, but are no longer valued.
If you’ve developed valuable expertise and experience (i.e. career leverage), but other people around you have a hard time seeing that, you should consider leaving. Some people are taken for granted over time, and the only way their value is realized is by leaving.
5. You have zero senior advocates.
It’s nearly impossible to overcome having a bad reputation among senior leaders, whether they are right or wrong. If you have one influential supporter, you still have hope (but you have work to do). If you have none, you should move on now, before they move on from you.
6. The mission or people above you don’t inspire you.
Short-term, you can stomach just about anything. But long-term, if you don’t believe in the company’s strategy, leaders, or way of working you will experience a slow death serving a misaligned future.
7. You are in the wrong company stage.
If you like the stability and certainty of Late Stage companies, but now are living through the chaos and openness of Early Stage, this is going to be hard on you. Or if you are an Early Stage person, trying to survive the stifling bureaucracy of a Late Stage company, you will hate your life. Know thyself and find your fit.
8. You have no leverage.
In Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich tried out the daily lives of lower class workers. She observed the zero upside inherent to most people’s work, where “there are few or no rewards for heroic performance.” If you are in a place with no or low upside leverage, you should try to move on to something better.
9. Your work is more important than your life.
There is a point where you sacrifice too much for your work. You offer up so much that you leave the other parts of yourself empty. You realize that your being and worth is overwhelmed by work. If you have the means, it’s time for a break.
This question, of identity and meaning after leaving work, will be the subject of my next series at The Way of Work. You won’t want to miss it.
For the last part in the series, I’m going to tackle the question of luck. It’s a question we must all face when reflecting on our life, whether successful or not.
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Note: views are my own and do not represent the views of any companies or people referenced within.
When it comes to knowing when to leave, I have two more on the checklist:
- Are toxic people being promoted?
- Have I become negative and toxic in my behaviors?