Luck: Things worked out for me, so they should for you too
When reflecting back on our life, “was I lucky (or unlucky)?" turns out to be one of the most important questions to ask ourselves. [Work in Progress: Part 10]
Series: Work in Progress | Part: 10 of 10 | Reading Time: 4 mins
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This is the 10th, and last part of the series Work in Progress. Last week, I talked about when to quit (or stay), when it’s unclear whether you should quit. Subscribe to get the next post.
Every piece of advice sounds something like this:
“Things worked out for me, so they should for you too.”
When it comes to good fortune, most of us don’t want to go down the road of recognizing luck. We want to believe that our success is our own.
And any fledgling thoughts of skepticism need to be shoved back down to maintain the delusion of self significance.
Because the existence of luck would introduce a deeper, more serious conclusion:
We don’t really matter. Life would move on the same without us.
Simultaneously, we are seduced by the success of others. We believe if we recreate their path, then their results will somehow leak into ours.
We want someone’s lifetime of experience to be broken down into “key lessons learned,” preferably in a clean, digestible list of 10 of them. These of course will encompass the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so give them to me, God.
But when it comes to our own misfortune… bring on the bad luck! Certainly, this is where the impact of luck came in!
Others more fortunate than us? They’re lucky.
Right?
I. Contemplating luck
Diagnosing our own or someone else’s luck is a nearly impossible task.
I mean, of course I’ve been lucky:
I was lucky to be born, in this era, in this location, to this family, with these genes.
I was lucky how chance has fallen upon me, without major catastrophes debilitating me.
I was lucky for what others gave to me - my parents, teachers, and other role models.
I was lucky for good timing, when the right things happened at the right time.
And so on.
And, of course, I’ve also done a lot of things right:
I jumped on the right opportunities. I picked the right industry, right work for my skills, right company size, and right team.
I worked hard when I had high leverage. I didn’t just work hard for its own sake. I worked hard when the iron was hot.
I stayed committed, through difficult times. I fought through difficulty, pain, and sadness.
I nailed key career moments, where my work had the greatest impact (and recognition).
I reinvented myself continuously, adapting to a world full of change.
And so on.
So was I lucky? Or where am I on the spectrum of luck?
How can I calculate the exact ratio of luck-to-my-own impact? 50/50? 90/10?
Maybe if I can just get the analysis right, I can calculate my exact worth?
But does it even matter?
II. The stories we tell
I think we’re missing the main point…
The main point, when it comes to luck, is NOT: whether we were lucky (or unlucky).
The main point is: whether we believe we were lucky (or unlucky).
The first is unanswerable. The second is up to us.
This may seem like I’m splitting hairs, but it’s an important distinction.
Ultimately, I get to choose the story I tell myself. And how I choose, has implications on what happens next.
“I don’t think it’s all luck. I guess just to keep doing what I’m doing, I have to tell myself some version of that story, but I think it’s true. I think it’s true.” - Tim Ferriss (on How I Built This)
▸ If I believe in my own control…
I’ll believe in my own agency. I’ll believe I can alter my situation. Do something about it.
I’ll be confident next time around. I’ll believe in my abilities. This is my self-esteem.
But I may become consumed with my ego. I’ll believe that no one helped me along the way. I’ll take for granted what was given. I’ll keep the illusions of my importance intact.
I’ll also have to face failure with the same amount of conviction. After all, I am responsible, for both the good and the bad.
“Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
▸ If I believe in my luck…
Then I’ll feel grateful. I’ll certainly sound more humble.
I might choose to give back to those less fortunate. Those with less luck, who maybe deserve the success more than I do. I’ll see the role that systems play at helping (or hurting) others, and maybe find ways to improve those systems.
I’ll also need to be forgiving of myself when not successful. After all, it’s not on me.
But I’ll also be unconfident in the replicability of my success. The prospect may leave me stuck, unable to try something bold again, for fear of never being able to recreate my luck.
Or I’ll feel unable to improve my situation, even willing to make simple changes. It’s almost like I have no free will.
Because if it’s all just luck, then what’s the point?
“Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner saying ‘liquidize your assets, buy Powerball tickets, it works.’” - Bo Burnham (hat tip:
on Be Lucky)
III. Lucky conclusion
So where do I land on the luck-to-impact continuum?
My conclusion: I’ve been lucky. No doubt about it. But I also mattered. I’m lucky to find success, but wouldn’t have succeeded on luck alone.
Some luck, some control. How much of each, I can’t figure out, nor think it matters.
Who knows. Maybe I’m lying to myself. But I’m okay with this conclusion.
And what may sound like an unsatisfying compromise, actually becomes a fitting conclusion to a series where I cover a chapter of my life…
I can’t control my luck. But I can control my story.
This was the last part in my series, Work in Progress. But don’t fear! Next up, I’m wrapping it all up and gearing up for the next series, which I don’t think you’ll want to miss:
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Note: views are my own and do not represent the views of any companies or people referenced within.
Jamie Wheal says something like "Life is like white-water kayaking. Most of the time you want to go with the flow...but sometimes you want to paddle like hell."
I love this piece as it helps us identify when we should paddle like hell.
A great, satisfying summary comment that you’ve left us with to finish the series. I might add that I can’t control luck but I can control how I respond to wherever it’s led me to thus far.