It's amazing how we learn from a very early age that keeping score is the true measure of anything meaningful. Why can't we just celebrate the effort of stepping out of a comfort zone, taking a risk, trying something new? Take the "participation trophy" everyone likes to crap all over. I was a very awkward kid (never grew out of it, actually) but I wanted to try a lot of things, especially different sports. I'm an only child and my parents were not athletic. Nobody ever said, "Wow, you worked so hard! Did you have fun? What did you learn?" or "Are you proud of yourself for trying it out?" We all know there's one winner. one Captain, one top scorer--that doesn't mean we need to shame everyone who isn't, whether expressed or implied. But when we are programmed from the jump to believe that only "winning" counts and not the experience of learning from NOT winning, how can we not take that mindset into our work lives? My daughters tried lots of things, too. They got a little keepsake from those efforts even though neither of them was the very best at any of them. What they learned was that just showing up and doing something has meaning and value, whether you're the "best" at it or not. I would have loved a "participation trophy" as a memento just for showing up and doing my best and I likely wouldn't have stopped trying new sports (or trying to get better at some) if I didn't feel so ashamed of not being the "winner."
Well said. Creates a lot of risk aversion later in life to try new things or anything we don’t think we can excel at (even if it doesn’t matter, eg artistic expression).
I’m not sure we can change how society judges these things, but we can start with ourselves and our family.
It's amazing how we learn from a very early age that keeping score is the true measure of anything meaningful. Why can't we just celebrate the effort of stepping out of a comfort zone, taking a risk, trying something new? Take the "participation trophy" everyone likes to crap all over. I was a very awkward kid (never grew out of it, actually) but I wanted to try a lot of things, especially different sports. I'm an only child and my parents were not athletic. Nobody ever said, "Wow, you worked so hard! Did you have fun? What did you learn?" or "Are you proud of yourself for trying it out?" We all know there's one winner. one Captain, one top scorer--that doesn't mean we need to shame everyone who isn't, whether expressed or implied. But when we are programmed from the jump to believe that only "winning" counts and not the experience of learning from NOT winning, how can we not take that mindset into our work lives? My daughters tried lots of things, too. They got a little keepsake from those efforts even though neither of them was the very best at any of them. What they learned was that just showing up and doing something has meaning and value, whether you're the "best" at it or not. I would have loved a "participation trophy" as a memento just for showing up and doing my best and I likely wouldn't have stopped trying new sports (or trying to get better at some) if I didn't feel so ashamed of not being the "winner."
Well said. Creates a lot of risk aversion later in life to try new things or anything we don’t think we can excel at (even if it doesn’t matter, eg artistic expression).
I’m not sure we can change how society judges these things, but we can start with ourselves and our family.
Happy for you and finding a new thing / passion / way to make meaning. Go Bills!
Go Bills!
Wow, you’ve come a long way from those early World of Work pieces … in this piece, you sound so much more settled.
Yes, I’ve let my hair down, for sure. More comfortable with just hitting “publish” on whatever