RIGHT ON! I've been doing the circuits you mentioned about achievement all my life, but not good enough per their yardstick. Now I'm 80 years old and have dropped off a lot from my list of lists. Never felt better to just throw out the bullcrap the experts told us we have to do. Your opinion = my sentiment about life. We do our best and call it a day. I don't measure myself by other's yardstick any more but still content that I've done my best and am loved by the only people that count. Find them.
First, I'm very proud that my 40-ish year old self wrote something to resonate with an 80-year old. Thank you for stroking my ego!
Second, I think you get at something I didn't call out specifically in my essay... almost a "minimalism" throwing out all the junk (and then some) that doesn't really matter. And maybe even moving beyond achieving any of these at all, to focusing more on the abstract features of life that really bring us meaning. E.g. there is no way to "check off" the idea of loving and being loved (and that's a good thing).
Great post. I think a certain kind of personality (mine included) lives to complete their list at if we will beat the video game boss and 'win' at life. Oliver Burkemans book 4000 weeks is a great read on the topic. He also reassures us that we'll never be done and we should just relax into that and embrace it.
That said, like everything in life there's a balance to be had. You always want to keep improving and enjoying the journey whilst accepting you'll never get to the destination of complete.
I have not read 4000 Weeks, but did read Meditations for Mortals a few months ago (it was an inspiration for the series). Interestingly, you are now the 2nd reader to make the connection to Burkeman. But I’ve been careful to NOT copy any of his ideas during my writing.
And I think you are right about the balance, which is why I tried to articulate the forever-expanding and regenerating nature of to-do lists.
In Burkeman’s words: “it’s much worse than you think.” 😂
So many of our "to-dos" are added to our lists by other people whether it's directly (boss, client, etc.) or indirectly (keeping up with the Joneses, countless *shoulds*). The indirect additions are often self-imposed and easy to justify if they move us towards what we've been told will be a better, more fulfilling life. So we allocate all this energy and time to check things off our lists thinking the prize is when the lists are complete when the real prize is found in doing the work itself IF it's the right work. It's never a bad idea to question everything on our lists, and if an item isn't truly necessary or if there's no opportunity for us to grow while doing it, maybe it doesn't deserve to be on the list in the first place.
Thanks! I'll add "to-do lists" to my to-do list of subjects for future posts. :)
Somewhat related, I recently wrote about the potential negativity that can come from getting attached to our desires. I'd argue items on a to-do list are desires/goals we want to achieve, and getting attached to their completion can rob us of happiness and freedom. Check it out if you feel inclined...
Il dolce far niente--the sweetness of doing nothing. As a recovering productivity addict, I have actually had a come-to-Jesus meeting with myself in the last few months about WHY I run at top speed. As a childhood overachiever with a dad who was equally driven, I was taught to look for milestones: "when you get to (X), you have 'arrived.'" I think of that now and wonder, WTF does that even mean? What am I running from/to? Where is my actual fulfillment coming from? So now I schedule time to do nothing that would be considered "productive" but is good for me. Hey, if this doing nothing thing is on my to-do list, it'll get done...right?
RIGHT ON! I've been doing the circuits you mentioned about achievement all my life, but not good enough per their yardstick. Now I'm 80 years old and have dropped off a lot from my list of lists. Never felt better to just throw out the bullcrap the experts told us we have to do. Your opinion = my sentiment about life. We do our best and call it a day. I don't measure myself by other's yardstick any more but still content that I've done my best and am loved by the only people that count. Find them.
First, I'm very proud that my 40-ish year old self wrote something to resonate with an 80-year old. Thank you for stroking my ego!
Second, I think you get at something I didn't call out specifically in my essay... almost a "minimalism" throwing out all the junk (and then some) that doesn't really matter. And maybe even moving beyond achieving any of these at all, to focusing more on the abstract features of life that really bring us meaning. E.g. there is no way to "check off" the idea of loving and being loved (and that's a good thing).
Profound comment, thanks for sharing.
Great post. I think a certain kind of personality (mine included) lives to complete their list at if we will beat the video game boss and 'win' at life. Oliver Burkemans book 4000 weeks is a great read on the topic. He also reassures us that we'll never be done and we should just relax into that and embrace it.
That said, like everything in life there's a balance to be had. You always want to keep improving and enjoying the journey whilst accepting you'll never get to the destination of complete.
I have not read 4000 Weeks, but did read Meditations for Mortals a few months ago (it was an inspiration for the series). Interestingly, you are now the 2nd reader to make the connection to Burkeman. But I’ve been careful to NOT copy any of his ideas during my writing.
And I think you are right about the balance, which is why I tried to articulate the forever-expanding and regenerating nature of to-do lists.
In Burkeman’s words: “it’s much worse than you think.” 😂
So many of our "to-dos" are added to our lists by other people whether it's directly (boss, client, etc.) or indirectly (keeping up with the Joneses, countless *shoulds*). The indirect additions are often self-imposed and easy to justify if they move us towards what we've been told will be a better, more fulfilling life. So we allocate all this energy and time to check things off our lists thinking the prize is when the lists are complete when the real prize is found in doing the work itself IF it's the right work. It's never a bad idea to question everything on our lists, and if an item isn't truly necessary or if there's no opportunity for us to grow while doing it, maybe it doesn't deserve to be on the list in the first place.
Beautifully said! You should write something on this too because you clearly have a lot of strong thoughts there.
Thanks! I'll add "to-do lists" to my to-do list of subjects for future posts. :)
Somewhat related, I recently wrote about the potential negativity that can come from getting attached to our desires. I'd argue items on a to-do list are desires/goals we want to achieve, and getting attached to their completion can rob us of happiness and freedom. Check it out if you feel inclined...
https://thefreedominion.substack.com/p/privilege-of-the-gods?r=assub
That’s very meta of you 😂
Thanks for sending will check it out
Il dolce far niente--the sweetness of doing nothing. As a recovering productivity addict, I have actually had a come-to-Jesus meeting with myself in the last few months about WHY I run at top speed. As a childhood overachiever with a dad who was equally driven, I was taught to look for milestones: "when you get to (X), you have 'arrived.'" I think of that now and wonder, WTF does that even mean? What am I running from/to? Where is my actual fulfillment coming from? So now I schedule time to do nothing that would be considered "productive" but is good for me. Hey, if this doing nothing thing is on my to-do list, it'll get done...right?