Well said. A much needed antidote to the ‘Reinvention Porn’ that misleads so many.
You have to walk through the door because staying in the bubble is killing you. It maybe you just get shoved through the door, already half-dead. Then the story begins. I’m at retirement age, my exit happened halfway through my working span. I don’t think I ever ‘figured it out’ and it hasn’t been easy but it’s been a period rich in discovery and spending time with family. I could have been chasing money and status but I’d actually have been going nowhere.
It’s funny how this stuff works out, because I would not have understood the reference at all if I hadn’t watched the movie a few weeks ago for the first time, at 43.
I walked through that door to nowhere, involuntarily, almost exactly a year ago due to medical reasons I’m still dealing with after 2 decades of a construction career.
We have even made the same amount of income ($4800 for me) which came from a single painting job that I struggled through. I figured I could do painting. Everybody can paint, right.
It was painful. I kept telling myself it was normal. They had told me I should feel normal by now, so it must be normal.
Nope. I was fucking myself up.
Turns out that it was exactly what I needed. It’s like the universe or whatever label you use was telling me “Sit down, son. You got lessons to learn.”
So I did. Still do.
So I started doing my own version of a mind map using nothing but computer paper and a wall, and a pencil and pens and stuff like that.
I turned my hyper-vigilance around on myself and started analyzing my own behavior, thoughts, feelings, desires, everything. I decided that I would tell nothing but the truth, and I've slowly gotten closer and closer to actually doing so.
I was not as lucky as you were to have a younger self that made that much money. That $4,800 that I made has been long gone for a while. It was gone the week after I made it.
The only reason I'm surviving right now is due to my partner, Shannon. I don't have parents that have money. I don't have parents, for that matter. I don't have any rich relatives that are willing to slide me over a check and say, "Get it back to me when you can."
Essentially, I've had to strip myself bare of desires that cost money, cuz even with her helping me, she can't afford to give me everything I want, so my wants had to change, plain and simple.
And you know what the really cool thing is? That actually brought out creativity. When something becomes a necessity, you figure it out. You don't have a choice.
I am just barely getting started here, but I can tell you one thing for sure: I am so much happier than I was working every single day doing the same things over and over again. No time to actually slow down and use my prefrontal cortex for anything but work. I always prided myself on being a problem solver, and in the construction industry, that's a good skill to have, but I didn't realize that all that was just practice for rebuilding myself after the crash. No, not a car crash or anything. It was literally just overworking my body until it gave up, and here I am.
We shall see where all of this goes, but just know I'm right here with you.
Well said. A much needed antidote to the ‘Reinvention Porn’ that misleads so many.
You have to walk through the door because staying in the bubble is killing you. It maybe you just get shoved through the door, already half-dead. Then the story begins. I’m at retirement age, my exit happened halfway through my working span. I don’t think I ever ‘figured it out’ and it hasn’t been easy but it’s been a period rich in discovery and spending time with family. I could have been chasing money and status but I’d actually have been going nowhere.
Thanks Rick. I appreciate the post.
It’s funny how this stuff works out, because I would not have understood the reference at all if I hadn’t watched the movie a few weeks ago for the first time, at 43.
I walked through that door to nowhere, involuntarily, almost exactly a year ago due to medical reasons I’m still dealing with after 2 decades of a construction career.
We have even made the same amount of income ($4800 for me) which came from a single painting job that I struggled through. I figured I could do painting. Everybody can paint, right.
It was painful. I kept telling myself it was normal. They had told me I should feel normal by now, so it must be normal.
Nope. I was fucking myself up.
Turns out that it was exactly what I needed. It’s like the universe or whatever label you use was telling me “Sit down, son. You got lessons to learn.”
So I did. Still do.
So I started doing my own version of a mind map using nothing but computer paper and a wall, and a pencil and pens and stuff like that.
I turned my hyper-vigilance around on myself and started analyzing my own behavior, thoughts, feelings, desires, everything. I decided that I would tell nothing but the truth, and I've slowly gotten closer and closer to actually doing so.
I was not as lucky as you were to have a younger self that made that much money. That $4,800 that I made has been long gone for a while. It was gone the week after I made it.
The only reason I'm surviving right now is due to my partner, Shannon. I don't have parents that have money. I don't have parents, for that matter. I don't have any rich relatives that are willing to slide me over a check and say, "Get it back to me when you can."
Essentially, I've had to strip myself bare of desires that cost money, cuz even with her helping me, she can't afford to give me everything I want, so my wants had to change, plain and simple.
And you know what the really cool thing is? That actually brought out creativity. When something becomes a necessity, you figure it out. You don't have a choice.
I am just barely getting started here, but I can tell you one thing for sure: I am so much happier than I was working every single day doing the same things over and over again. No time to actually slow down and use my prefrontal cortex for anything but work. I always prided myself on being a problem solver, and in the construction industry, that's a good skill to have, but I didn't realize that all that was just practice for rebuilding myself after the crash. No, not a car crash or anything. It was literally just overworking my body until it gave up, and here I am.
We shall see where all of this goes, but just know I'm right here with you.
Good luck, buddy.