15 Comments
User's avatar
Ved Shankar's avatar

This read like a pilot for a series - also made me realise Santa technically does performance reviews on kids

Rick Foerster's avatar

I’m already on the phone with HBO.

If you want a subjective review, talk to Santa. He seems to give the most gifts to pretentious, rich kids.

Björn's avatar

This made me laugh, thank you! I know it was always Goldman...

Rick Foerster's avatar

thanks Björn, as always, for your support!

Yi Xue's avatar

LOL, that is not your usual writing style, but it sure was funny!

Now, the meaning of life ... According to Lin Yutang, a Chinese inventor, linguist, novelist, philosopher, and translator, "What is the meaning of life? The true end, the Chinese have decided in a singularly clear manner, lies in the enjoyment of a simple life, especially the family life, and in harmonious social relationships. For after all, the sum of all human wisdom and the problem of all human knowledge is how man shall remain a man and how he shall best enjoy his life."

Rick Foerster's avatar

Thanks for your support, Yi!

And I definitely resonate with that definition.

Dave Foulkes's avatar

I’m deeply offended…..that you’ve not done stuff like this before already! Very good :)

Rick Foerster's avatar

Forgive me, Dave, for I have sinned…

Dave Foulkes's avatar

The work ethic will continue til morale improves

Rick Foerster's avatar

a flawless strategy, indeed

Lisa W's avatar

O...M...G...Good thing I wasn't eating or drinking when reading this. This is SO much better than The Good Place or the Truman Show. You need an agent, man.

Fuckin' Goldman.

Tom Pendergast's avatar

That was a lot of fun Rick

Rick Foerster's avatar

thanks for supporting my application to The Onion!

Tom Pendergast's avatar

I was thinking this was the first draft to a screenplay …